What advice would you give man dating a single, stay at home Mom, with 4 kids, ranging from ages 2.5 years to 21.
The two younger ones (2.5 and 6) live with her, older children (14 and 21) live with her first husband. Her second husband, while ordered to pay child support, owns his own business and does everythi g he can not to pay a dime.
Be a friend to the older kids and a father figure to the younger ones. they won't understand that you are NOT their father because you will fulfill the role of who they know as a father…like the one their friend's have. They may even refer to you as "dad" to their friends. It's an honor so accept it and don't abuse the privelidge. If she has any sense of pride, to her detriment, she won't ask for anything. But if you offer and she needs the help she should accept.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
What advice r u looking. U just described normal situation of woman who had 4 kids. I am just wondering why people cannot have 1 or 2 kids thats my concern there but again what is ur question?
I am confused because I do not know if you are looking for advice concerning the relationship or the monetary expenses for her children. You are dating her, not marrying her. If things proceed to a more serious level, just realize that you will be taking on all the emotional and financial problems as well as the joys that go along with a ready made family. If you marry the lady, you take on her family…not until they are 18, but forever. If you think you are up for it, proceed. If not, back away.
I am a divorced woman and have 4 children myself. I suggest you evaluate if this is something you are willing to go the distance with. The last thing a woman wants is another man in and out of her child's life. I know you are not their father but if you date her, you date them as well. If you are prepared for that type of responsibility then go for it, if not, let her go. You should not be wasting any woman's time that she could be spending with her children if this is just a passing interest. I don't mean to sound so blunt but believe it or not, your relationship with the children's mom will have an impression on the children. Sometimes you have to be selfish for someone else. She may be angry now, but trust me whether she says it or not, she is looking for husband #3 and if that is not you, save her pain and heartache and leave.
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