OK, so you made some mistakes but now you want to get back with ex. If this is so, this probably means you are going to have to face some pretty harsh home truths! As sure as bread is bread, making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and say sorry before you can make up.
Now you’ve decided you want to get back with ex, you must be ready to face not only what has gone wrong with the relationship, but also exactly what your part in the break down of that relationship was. If you made mistakes, then don’t beat yourself up for that. We all make them, it’s what you do after the mistake that’s more important.
Take some time out and sit down on your own to consider the issues that are related to what happened just prior to the split. Don’t concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex’s mistakes, leave that for the future. Only consider factors now that you can influence.
Whatever mistakes you find in your past behaviour, do you think they can be forgiven? Don’t be too eager to blame yourself and believe that your mistakes are basically unforgivable. You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. There is always hope so don’t think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness.
If the mistakes were completely out of character for you, then try and pin point what was happening in your life at that time. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with ex, then you need to be honest with yourself and do this.
If you have been selfish or thoughtless, then this is something about your character that can quite eaisly be dealt with. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get back with ex, then it is going to be worthwhile.
Were you under certain stresses and strains. Perhaps you were under threat at your job wise? Or you weren’t physically feeling yourself? Perhaps there were other family issues? Whatever you find, when you look back at what happened you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in some detail just what you have discovered.
When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain an insight on your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange a meeting. It is far better to arrange a face-to-face meeting somewhere neutral as there is less chance of either of you becoming overly emotional.
Ensure that you stay focused and calm about what you want to say. Don’t forget to apologise and ask for forgiveness (even if it wasn’t all your fault) and listen to what your ex wants to say.
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