How Come Some People Never Seem to Come Across Anybody That is Marriage Material?

In my situation, I'm single, never been married or proposed to, in my life. I'm 30 years old. Fairly attractive, educated, and employed. I partied and clubbed in my early 20's, and went to college. I lived on my own in 2002, single and worked. In 2007, I had a son. Now, I have to admit, that when I was in my 20's, I came across many good men, that were employed, educated, etc. But this was when i still lived with my parents, when I was 19, 20, 21. When I got my own place, I still met fairly decent guys, but my mindframe was that I would always be beautiful, and I didn't want to settle down with one person, because then I would be missing out on another person. I didn't have good examples of healthy marriage relationships, growing up. My mom always had to have a man to feel good about herself. She never spent one on one time with my sister and I. She was a good mother, but certain areas she lacked in. I've never been in a relationship longer than a few months to a year. I have a laidback, eclectic personality, but back in the day, I didn't have to work really hard to impress, because my looks overrided that. But now, I am single, with nobody. No approaches, but I'm always in a uniform, and on the weekends, I stay in the house with my son. My sister is married now, she met her husband in the club. But no guy ever approaches me, and I don't approach guys. I just stay in my house, taking care of my son, and reading romance novels. So how come everybody else can just go somewhere and meet the man that becomes their husband, and I'm still wallowing around like I have a scarlet letter etched in my forehead or something?

Answer:

Attitude and peoples' perception of them. You are probably projecting negativity like a water hose, that causes people to avoid you.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

its called karma

believe it or not, your past shows through, and men can probably sense it so they stay away.

sounds stupid, but maybe try internet dating. maybe you can chat with a guy online and he'll be able to discover this new you.

e-harmony promises to match you – if you are ready. Use them, since you apparently do not
want to put much effort into it – just sitting around and waiting for someone to knock on your door.

Get out of the house on the weekends sometimes and be approachable. Try not to seem like your looking for someone, just get out and have fun! He'll show up when you least expect it.

Thats what happens when you're too busy being beautiful to develop a personality.

does the scarlet letter etched in your forehead read 'i'm too sexy for your loser @ss!'?

ever heard of hiring a baby sitter once in a while?

I suppose because you're not everyone else and that's not necessarily a bad thing. And because as you said, other people go out and meet people…you just stay in your house. You don't have to go to clubs to meet people. There are activities you can engage in that can involve your son where you can still meet men…play groups, museums, parks, child-friendly restaurants…getting out won't hurt the child either.

There are dating websites but personally I think those should be used as a last resort.

And if you still don't meet anyone, it's ok. There's no law that says you have to be married or have to have someone even though there are a lot of people who seem to think they can't exist without a significant other (not saying that you're one of those people, but I know plenty who are).

First of all relax, there is someone out there. Don't let marriage be your priority, just relax and be yourself and let friendship come first. You also should be available, that is be in the right place at the right time. Go to places where you can meet eligible men. Join an exercise club, a church group, a poitical organization. Needy organizations are always looking for volunteers. Then, there is always friends or familiy who can introduce you to someone. But, don't be so physcially available, it cheapens you and the relationship.

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