Until you learn how to make out with the cool composure of a pro, you are likely to experience extreme anxiety and discomfort in intimate situations. If you feel awkward or even fearful when it looks like an intimate make out session might be possible, you are not alone. Most people feel this way when they are having their first experiences.
Perhaps the most effective way to gain some cool swagger in these situations would be to just gain as much experience as possible by going on a make out spree with random people, but most likely that will not be a possibility for everyone. You will have to just find mental strategies to relax in these situations.
Let’s compare making out with someone you really like to visiting your doctor for hypnosis. When you see the doctor you lie down so your body is completely relaxed. You are instructed by a gentle, kind voice to close your eyes and wipe all thoughts from your mind. You are to focus only in the moment, not on anything else.
When you are with someone that you really want to kiss and hold tight, you should focus on the same things. Relax your body. Clear your mind of all thoughts; and that includes anxiety and fearful thoughts. Close your eyes. Just try to live in the moment without any introspection or analysis.
For some people this is rather easy once you realize the importance, but for others it can be very hard to turn off the critical mind and just relax. Those people will need more experience kissing before they start to relax with the person in their arms.
Instead of fighting inside your own head to stop thinking, turn your thoughts to the person you are next to. If you can’t stop your mind, then focus it solely on this other person. Notice how they smell and where their hands are. Are they holding you close or leaning over with a hand barely gracing your shoulder? How do their lips feel? Are they opening their mouth? These are the things to focus on until your thoughts fade off.
You are just experiencing this moment to the fullest without any type of criticism of your own skills. You will remember nothing when you walk away from the experience except for how they felt, tasted, and looked.
When you are first learning how to make out it is okay to take the lead of your partner, especially if they are more experienced. Try to just relax and see where things lead. Eventually you will have the experience to keep your cool and just enjoy the moments more fully.
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