Those who want help save marriage from ending in divorce need to do it together. It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. It’s heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you don’t want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save marriage.
Chill out: Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.
The same idea will apply in this case too. Before you say or do anything, take a breath. The next time your spouse says something that angers you, get control of yourself, calm down and release your anger. By releasing your anger you can learn to communicate and take the necessary steps to save your marriage.
Understand what is happening: While you are taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.
Try looking at the situation from your spouse’s perspective as well. When looking at these other perspectives you may be able to figure out what caused things to get out of control. There could be a simple solution that will save your marriage.
Laugh at yourselves: This doesn’t mean to make light of the situation but it does mean don’t take yourselves so seriously. Sometimes, things snowball out of control, but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.
It is amazing how tiny things can cause a situation to become out of control when it didn’t have to. It can actually be hilarious if you are willing to allow it to be. There are times when people that are going through a rough time stop and say, “Someday we will look back at this moment and laugh!” Don’t wait for that moment, go ahead and laugh.
Look for ways to improve: Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at its root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.
The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve. If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.
To help save your marriage, do it together and bring back what belongs together…the two of you.
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