As a webmaster of an online dating site, I’m taken aback at some member’s relationship mentality. For whatever reason, they view online dating as a jump from meeting to instant marriage without any courtship. This is not the road to undertake for a successful marriage, be it you get together at an online dating site or your local church.
Most initial communication is based on physical lure. However, I recommend to members of my site to start out as penpals and act accordingly. No sexual innuendos, no promises, no commitments — take your time getting to be acquainted with each other and see where it leads. Relationships based only on looks is frequently a recipe for failure. I’m not saying attraction is not important, but it isn’t the sole measure to sustaining a long and blissful marriage. There has to be more to a relationship than the way he or she looks, but also on what he or she has in common.
Online dating to some is an avenue to evade the courtship process. They see someone online, swap a few emails, and instantaneously declare love. In a traditional dating scenario you don’t generally declare love after a few dates. Why should online dating be at all different? The courting progression after meeting someone online should be similar to traditional dating. There is an attraction, you exchange emails, and if interest is sparked you flirt, communicate, and even do a form of traditional dating through online chats, phone calls and spending time getting to know each other. Online dating is not an environment where marriage success is magically assured with a “hello” to a “I do” without involving the courting process.
Taking the penpal attitude to meeting someone online, may help keep your actions in check. I’m surprised when a gentleman is flirting with a lady within the first or second email. This person is usually trying to circumvent the courtship process and in doing so is asking for problems. Many who flirt when flirting is not proper, is the kind of person a hustler is looking for. Keeping your words suitable for the phase of the relationship you are in and by starting out as penpals, may be your safest and best method to finding true love.
If you are in a rush or feel you don’t have time to squander looking for love, you need to reorganize your priorities or in the long run you may waste a lot more time in divorce court or mixed up with an unhappy marriage. Do yourself a act of kindness — be a penpal first and let the stages of courtship build up naturally. If you are as fortunate as I was, not only will you find true love, but also a best friend for life.
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