Those who want help save marriage from ending in divorce need to do it together. It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. It’s heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you don’t want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save marriage.
The first thing to do is chill out. Take the time to step away from the situation and catch your breath. Don’t literally take a break from the marriage, just step back a little and calm down. It takes no time at all before things become overheated and out of control. Give yourself some time to cool off. You were likely told to cool off by counting slowly to 10 when your were young in order to get your emotions under control.
The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.
Make sure you understand what is going on while you are taking the time to breathe. Take a good honest look at what is really happening. This is the time to look at the whole picture and look at the situation from different perspectives as well. Things might look pretty bad from where you are standing at the moment. If you try to view your situation from different perspectives, things might not be nearly as bad as you imagined.
Try looking at your current situation from an outsider’s point of view and from the perspective of your partner. When you ask others for their insights you might be able to see exactly how things got out of control. It is possible that there is a very simple solution to saving your marriage.
Learn to laugh at yourselves. You shouldn’t make light of your situation, but it means that you you can see what actually caused things to snowball you might end up laughing about it.
It is amazing how tiny things can cause a situation to become out of control when it didn’t have to. It can actually be hilarious if you are willing to allow it to be. There are times when people that are going through a rough time stop and say, “Someday we will look back at this moment and laugh!” Don’t wait for that moment, go ahead and laugh.
Look for ways to improve: Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at its root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.
The next step would be to commit to finding ways to improve. If you are the party that is causing the little issues to get blown way out of proportion, commit to stopping this behavior. If you are always overreacting, then learn to control this emotion. By making improvements to the way situations are handled, everything may start to fall into place to save the marriage.
To help save your marriage, do it together and bring back what belongs together…the two of you.
You must log in to post a comment.