This article is a simple guide on how to attract quality women (not just any girl or woman) and then how to ‘encourage’ the one you want to fall in love with you.
If you are just interested in attracting any woman for casual dates, then read the other article I published (see my list on my profile), where you have guidelines on dress code and general demeanour. This article is for those of you guys who already know how to dress, how to take care of yourselves, but somehow feel that you are not attracting the ‘right’ type of woman.
First of all, I assume that if you are here you want a quality woman, an attractive woman who adds to your life in every way and not just for sex or basic/boring companionship. I assume you want to experience the bliss that is found in high-quality relationships. I know that many men ask: where do I find the right woman?
If you have attracted only shallow individuals or gold-diggers, it’s probably because:
- You are not equipped with the right diagnostic tools to see beyond the surface
- Your demeanor is such that attracts only those types and not deep, loving, intelligent, quality women.
It’s often the case that some men, when they either have low self-esteem or need to ‘boast’ for a reason or another, ‘show off’ their wealth. Even if they don’t have much, they tend to behave as if they have much more money. It’s absolutely fine to ‘pamper’ your date, in fact it’s essential, but courtesy and kindness are very different from showing off your sports car or talking about your money or your high-paying job or your wealthy parents (or even make up ‘impressive’ stories about money, you know what I mean!). Women are sharp and they can tell immediately if money is your favourite or only magnet; gold-diggers will love it and will know how to play you.
Real, quality women will, on the other hand, will wonder why you concentrate so much on material things and far too little on being open about who you really are, including your dreams and fears. Another brief example: if you want to avoid flirts and shallow women, the last thing you should do is to act like a flirt or a player yourself. So, don’t look at other women when you date her, focus on her, don’t flirt with the waitress, don’t wear ridiculous players’ clothes, stop showing off your muscles (women have eyes you don’t need to go over the top) don’t pretend to be a rock star, don’t talk like an immature teenager and don’t bore your date with endless sports story!
Even if you are an average guy and you think you are doing all the right things but somehow end up being hurt by women, it’s probably because you don’t have the right diagnostic tools to assess the person you are falling in love with. Don’t judge a girl just because she wears a short skirt, for example, or because she seems to be ‘distant’. Many ‘signals’ are very deceptive and we interpret them incorrectly. The only way to attract the right woman is to control your feelings at the beginning (so absolutely stop concentrating on her looks, no matter how hard it is, and start listening to her!).
Most men ‘lose’ control when they fall in love and have absolutely no clue as to who she really is. Then, months or years later, they wonder who on Earth is the ‘monster’ they have been sleeping with all along! So, listen to her. Ask her about her past, her family, her mistakes (without judgment) in love and life, her fears, her dreams, her hope for the future. Find out who she really is. Treat her the same way a good psychologist would treat her. If she smiles, smile with her and allow her to open her mind and heart to you without judgment. The less you judge, the more she will open up to you and you will absolutely have all the information you need to assess whether she is the right woman for you or not.
At the same time, by concentrating on ‘her’ and allowing her to emotionally and psychologically open up to you, you will definitely allow her (in psychological terms) to invest her feelings in you and fall in love with you. It’s the reason why many women fall in love with their (often unattractive!) male therapists! If you follow these simple rules you are on your way to Successfully Finding Love and enjoying the bliss of a true relationship.
Jules Monty, author of http://mysearchingforlove.com a practical guide to find and keep true love in one’s life.
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