You know how to meet a girl at a party, but when you get there the butterflies in your stomach act like they don’t want to stay down there. All around you people are laughing and having fun while you busy yourself with the dip tray and count crackers.
You see a girl across the room and she smiles at you. With great difficulty you steel yourself and walk in her direction only to glide right on past, too tongue tied to speak.
You aren’t alone. Thousands of guys just like yourself have read the articles on how to meet a girl and seen the videos but are still to timid to make the first move. Stop kicking yourself. Shyness is a problem but it can be overcome.
It’s very common for young children to be shy around others. It generally doesn’t cause serious problems and usually changes around age twelve or thirteen. Naturally gregarious teenagers learn new social skills and integrate easily in groups.
To some people, a shy individual might seem aloof, arrogant or cold and distant. To others the shy person may be perceived as being intelligent and thoughtful, as being good listeners more likely to think before they speak. You can use that second set of characteristics to your advantage when you know how to meet a girl. While some women go for the clown or the brash extrovert, many women love men who are thoughtful and who are good listeners.
People who are shy are usually at their worst in social situations like parties. They are out of their comfort zones in such gatherings. Smiling, easy conversation about suitable subjects and making eye contact do not come easily to them. How do you meet a girl at a party in the first place when you’re too shy to even speak to one?
The first step is to practice in places where you are comfortable. Practice? Absolutely. You do meet people throughout the day and some of those people are women. Make it a point to talk to them. Start with “good morning.” It’s very common for people to say good morning to strangers. Say it to the girl behind the Starbuck’s counter. Say it to the letter carrier. Say it to the bus driver. Get into the habit of saying good morning to everyone you meet. It will brighten their day and it will help you get over your fear of breaking the ice.
What if they say “It’s three in the afternoon.” Don’t worry about it. Smile and say, “Gee, where did the day go?” They will smile and say something and maybe you’ll find yourself in a conversation. If not, that’s okay, too. You were just being friendly.
The point is, saying the first word is the hardest part. Once you’ve go that down, once you’re engaged in conversation, you can practice other pleasantries. Ask questions. Back at the party, you’ve said hello to that nice looking girl and she said it back. Ask, “how do you know, Bill?” or whatever the name of the person hosting the party is. “Did you come alone?” “Did you drive far to get here?” Before the party, write down ten or fifteen questions you can use to get a conversation started. After that first greeting and introduction, the rest is much easier.
If you can’t feel outgoing and extroverted, act. Play a role. Actors aren’t like the people they play. That’s why they are called actors. They learn their lines and deliver them. So write down some questions you could ask a girl at a party to start a conversation. Practice them at home so you have the words down. Use open ended questions that start with “What do you like about…” or “Where did you live when…” Once the conversation gets rolling a bit, nod and smile and encourage her to do the talking. She’ll think you’re thoughtful and intelligent and interested in her. And isn’t that what you wanted in the first place?
If you’re still having trouble with the conversation part, there’s an eBook written just for you. It’s called Conversation King and has over 50 power packed pages of no-fail talk tactics for men. Just one or two will ensure you (even if you’re shy) get what you want from your date – tonight! The best part is it’s yours free when you sign up with Guy Gets Girl. There’s too much to tell about that, check it out for yourself.
Making the first move is just one thing you need to do to meet a girl. Discover four more when you read Five Musts to Meet a Girl.
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