You can do it many ways. Coming out, that is. But the skeletons tumble out simultaneously, hence the difficulty in letting people know what your sexual orientation is.
In the last office I worked in, it was a legend. The story of a man coming out during an editorial meeting. He decided to show everyone photographs of his holiday in Egypt with his lover. Now editorial meetings are not necessarily boring, serious affairs. They do involve a lot of exchange of gossip and stories, many of which may not be published. But taking the moment to reveal your sexual orientation, that was new.
I was surprised to hear this, as the media industry is one of the more liberal working spaces you can find. That this man felt the need, in his 30s, to let everyone know where he stood in such dramatic fashion was a bit disheartening. In this modern world, if you are homosexual, you still have to weigh your time and the reactions of others before you can reveal yourself what you truly are. Or because you are afraid of their reactions you start by going for the dramatic offence.
Take my friend. When I met him, I didn’t have to ask him if he was gay; I knew. We got along like a house on fire. He is extremely protective about me, very loyal and is constantly asking me to accompany him to gay parties. Needless to say, we would have a ball. His mother, on the other hand, had no clue about his preference for sex with men and horror of women (physically, that is). In fact she disliked his friendship with me, as I am much older than my friend, and she wanted her son to find a girl more his age.
My friend, rather than letting his parents know of his sexuality, preferred to move out and live with friends. He could be what he wanted to be, with no restrictions on whom he saw and where he went, and could always go back home for a quiet family dinner. Even his brother was kept in the dark.
Till one day when his brother saw his messages and in one of their family rows over some totally unrelated issue decided to tell his parents. My friend was devastated. The double life he had led was beginning to crumble. His father was horrified. Before you knew it, my friend had decided that rather than “shame” his family, he would move to another country. And he did. His parents are happy; their son’s “deviation” will not be known to other family members and they can lead their lives pretending that everything is as it should be.
I find that hard to accept. Though I have to respect the wishes of my friend and his family. But being a woman who had to work hard to establish my independence I feel it is not fair on my friend. He has every right to be what he is, and he is a wonderful man to boot. Why should he be in exile?
But it’s easier said than done. Look at the countless websites that give advice on coming out. They will tell you to carefully choose your time. Some even suggest not coming out if you do not have to!
The good ones suggest you do your homework about what homosexuality is about and how it is not a disease (how true!), and suggests you get financially independent before you decide to let your family know. After all, in this world, having money helps you live your life the way you want to. That of course and a little help from your friends.
I’m Ian and I’ve been writing articles on how to acquire a proper golf swing for my site in the past, golf being a passion of mine. Now come and visit my latest website over at http://www.travelcoffeemakers.net which helps people with lots of information to find the best of the travel coffee makers on the market.
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